Broken Soul
by AshaTwiHard72
Summary: When Bella conjures up feelings for Jasper and Edward attacks her instead of Jasper on her birthday, she finds herself welcoming their departure. But when Bella finds herself in a horrific encounter, Jasper becomes here safe harbor. Will Bella be able to overcome her fears to build a relationship with her one true love? Rated M for sexual/abusive/ suicidal conduct.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! I read a story were bella was ****_abused_**** and I noticed that it was very emotional and my middle name is emotional! So I tried something out! Here you go! Get the tissue out! Your gonna need it. Enjoy! And REVIEW PLEASE! **

"Oh. Oh please, stop." I begged one final time as the pain seared through me like boiling lava. It was not just between my legs anymore it was _everywhere_.

"You... deserve... it." His grimy voice grunted in between thrust.

"Please...it hurts so ba-" I cried with tears falling over my dirty face leaving streaks in the dirt that covered nearly every inch of my body.

"Shut up you slut!" His hand moved so fast I thought for a minuet he was a vampire. His greasy hands striked my face so hard I was out cold as soon as his fist made contact. I welcomed the darkness. In fact I craved for it, more than I craved for the air that my weak lungs needed to survive. I welcomed it with open arms and a pleading voice. I craved it almost as much as I craved and begged for death, because there was nothing I wanted more in this moment than to die. Nothing I wanted more than the pain and memory to be gone forever. I wanted to no longer be, I didn't _deserve_ to live. I didn't deserve to breath in the _air_ that others could be breathing. I didn't deserve the tiny portion of earth my dirty limbs took up. I didn't deserve the torn and dirty clothes that lay limply on my body... I'm not even sure I deserved to die...

/.../.../.../...

I woke to the light pitter pad of the cold water drops falling from the sky against my weak, dirty, bruised and beaten body. I looked up into the sky as the water dropped and dropped, though I didn't move. I knew in the back of my mind that I was freezing and I knew that the pain lingering all over my body particularly in between my legs was brutal yet I didn't move an inch. The tears flew from my eyes and mixed with the rain yet I didn't move. I didn't sob, I just laid there, the waste that I was. I sat there for I'm not sure how long, but I'm sure it was closer to hours than minutes, until I heard a soft voice that in any other situation, any other time, would have struck me as beyond beautiful. It was soft and smooth yet ruff snd manly. Everthing in me called to that voice, yet now it only struck me as one thing, far, from beautiful. _Male_. My head whipped to the side and I saw a pale figure with blonde hair starring at me wide eyed as he asked my name.

"Bella?" Oh my gosh it was Jasper. As in Jasper Cullen. Yesterday I would have jumped for joy and tackled him to the ground hugging him untill my arms fell numb, but the saying tomorrow is a whole other day has never been more true to me than this very moment. I screamed and tried to get up to run, the scene from who knows how long ago replaying in my head. as I fell back to the ground, the pain soaring and just noticing that my left arm was broken. I screamed and sobbed as the male came closer.

"Bella!" He said. I could barely see him any more as I thrashed and sobbed, tears falling as sobbed rocked through my body, which finally fell limp from the pain. I did the last thing I could. I begged, terrified and desperate I begged.

"Please! Oh god Help me! Please don't! I'm sorry! Ph god please leave alone!" I shouted at him, begging him not to do it. He was suddenly by my side and I knew that I was goner again, and I screamed and sobbed hopelessly, I know. He was going to rape me again and there was nothing I would ever be able to do about it. Where is God when I needed him!? Why can't he kill me now! He calls for those who don't _want_ death all the time and yet hear I lay _begging_ for it and he looks past me! "Help me! Help me, Kill me! please now! " I sobbed and just now realized I was screaming aloud when my throat began to close and throb. I sobbed for everything I was worth, even it wasn't much, I sobbed to who ever, what ever would listen.

"Bella! I. will. not. hurt. you!" He said. His arms were around me rocking me as I thrashed and sobbed and begged for death. I sobbed and looked up into his soft topaz eyes and they showed that they wouldn't hurt me, they showed concern and terror, welded with familiarity. I gave up thrashing, and clutched to him, my face buried in his chest, as he rocked me as I cried and choked on my sobs. I wanted his familiarity, no I _needed_ his familiarity.

"What happened to you Bella?" He whispered as if he knew I wouldn't answer, like more to himself. He rocked me and eventually I felt myself being raised. I screamed and choked, but he shoo-shed me and calmed me. I had felt his waves of calm and sleepiness he pushed at me, but the terror within my body was too much for the other emotions to mask.

Before I knew it I was being rushed into somewhere bright and white and my teary eyes could barely see anything.

"Help! I need help!" Jasper yelled out and bodies came rushing towards us. I saw who I knew were nurses and looked at them warily, but then came _them_. _Males_. I screamed bloody murder as one tried to take me from Jaspers arms and I thrashed and sobbed clutching to my safe harbor. They all looked at me sorrowful and bewildered. I could see that other people in the hospital and waiting room were looking but I didn't care. Jasper shoooshed me. He then looked up at the crew that had gathered and frowned softly.

"Please. No men." He whispered catching on to my fear. The males nodded and backed away and I sighed in relief looking up at Jasper thankful for him. He smiled softly at me but it didn't reach his eyes. A female nurse walked slowly up to me as I eyed her. She smiled softly at me but even if I tried I couldn't have returned it.

"Hello what is your name dear?" She asked softly. The whole hospital had gone quiet. I don;t think anyone was _breathing_ too hard, for fear of scaring me, and the scary part was. I think it was necessary.

"Be-be." I tried to say my name but it came out a choke in my throat. I looked up at Jasper, silently asking for help he smiled softly, again it not reaching his eyes. He then looked up at the nurse.

"Her name is Isabella Swan." He said. They all gasped at my last name. I knew we were in the Seattle hospital and therefore they would know my dad, and his last name. New tears escaped my eyes thinking of what a disappointment I was to him.

"Okay sweetie, we're gonna take real good care of here okay?" She asked. I only looked at her. She motioned for two of the male doctors to step away from the hospital bed they had rolled over and for two female nurses to take there spot. They willed the bed over and Jasper leaned down to lay me there. My eyes became wide and I began to shake. My head _and_ my body. I began to sob and in a frantic attempt to stay with my safe harbor I clutched his shirt to me as hard as I could with my one weak hand.

"Please. Please Jazz, don't leave me. Please." I begged. He looked like he was about to burst into tears if such a thing was possible and I knew that he truly cared for me.

"I'm not gonna leave you Bella. I'm just gonna lay you down and I'll be here, right by your side, the entire time. I promise." He said. I shook my head and clutched tighter, well as tight as my weak body would allow. I hung my head and cried, my grasp loosening my hold on his shirt. I looked up at him with one more pleading look.

"Please. Don't let go." I whispered. He looked at me for a brief second and then he moved and we were both on the hospital bed, me still wrapped in his arms, which I just noticed were bare. He had put his long button down on me, and for good reasons, most of my clothes were shattered. He held me to him as I cried into his chest. The nurses and doctors didn't seem to care that Jasper was with me, only that I had calmed down enough to be set on a bed. They all moved fast and I felt a blanket being thrown over us. I relished in the warmth, again not noticing how cold I was until then. I began to tremor and felt Jasper's cool hands rubbing over my arms as I snuggled deep into him. Trying to burry myself into him, to sink away and never come back. I closed my eyes and leaned into his comforting chest. Pretty soon I heard the traffic stop and I looked up. We were in a room and one soul nurse was plugging me up to machines and she always went slow. She would stop and let me adjust every time I flinched when she touched me. She was nice and understanding and I was extremely grateful for her. I snuggled into Jasper and before I knew what was going on, I was being over took with sleep. My dreams were filled with horror. Need I say I woke screaming bloody murder in my hospital bed, with cold arms restraining me. I thrashed once I felt the arms tighten and looked up to see it was Jasper, trying to calm me down. The nurse from earlier rushed in and Jasper gave her a knowing and dismissive look. She quickly slipped back out the room. We sat there for a few minutes just breathing, getting mine back to normal. Jaspers was rubbing my back and mumbling to me, soothing me. I sighed and shifted my legs to get comfortable when I felt something move across my legs. It was a hospital gown. I didn't remember putting that on. My head shot up to Jaspers.

"How-"

"The nurse put it on when you were asleep." He explained and then looked down. He somehow managed look sheepish. I scrunched my eyebrows together and slowly moved my now casted arm and to touch the side of his face. Jasper and I had gotten so close before they left and when Edward attacked me brcause of a paper cut, and Jasper defended me on my birthday, I knew that I would never get over the feelings that I had for him and I couldn't feel the way I felt about him, when he belonged to someone else, to my sister. To Alice. So it wasn't really a big surprise when they said they had to leave but I had missed Jasper the most. Though as hard as I tried, I never got over the feelings I had for him. The pull to him like no other. I had felt like I was betraying Edward every time I thought of Jasper. Which was all the time, so when they left, ... I let them go. He looked up at me and frowned.

"Jazz, what's wrong?" I asked in my rasped voice.

"Everything." He whispered so quiet I don't think I was meant to hear. He sighed heavily and then he looked up and put his cool hands on either side of my face. "Bella, what I am about to tell you, you must know I did it because I needed to help you." He said. I became scared now, what was wrong? "Bells, you were sexually abused, you know this right?" He asked. I flinched and tried to take my face away from his hands so I could look down, but he made me look him straight in the face. I closed my eyes the events of that night flashing through my brain as a solitaire tear rolled down my face, I nodded with my eyes still closed. "Bella the police need to find who did that to you. You needed a rape kit. You can be sedated during the process and a close person of importance can decide if the victim should have this kit done. I decided it would easier for you if you didn't know until after. The doctor gave you a rape kit Bella." He whispered. My eyes went wide as I thought of another man seeing me. "The doctor was a female and I was right back by your side as soon as it was over." He assured me, and I calmed down a bit. I just starred at the sheet wrapped around us and thought of nothing, saw nothing, I just sat. I was so lost in my 'non-thought' that I hadn't noticed I was starring for quite sometime. I felt Jaspers cold hands circle my face as he gently lift my face and I hadn't even noticed I was crying until he lifted my eyes and his face was blurry. The little I could see, I saw his face twist into a horrible grimace, and he pulled me to him.

"I'm sorry Bells, I should have asked you, I'm sorry. I thought it was best." He pleaded for my understanding, his voice layered in self loathing. I shook my head and raised my hand to wipe away the tears I didn't think my body had left.

"I'm not mad at you Jazz, I'm glad you did it, I would have never agreed to that conscious-" I cleared my throat, as it was beginning to throb a little due to all the talking. "But I would have regretted it if I refused. Thank you for that." I tried to smile but failed. Jasper let out a sigh of relief and his shoulders visibly relaxed.

"Then why are you crying darlin?" He asked, in that country accent I loved, plus he tacked on the nickname he had gave me so long ago. He never called anyone that but me. I tried to smile a little at it, but then frowned. I looked down at the sheets again and sighed.

"What-What he di-it was my- my fau-" I cried out in between sobs but was interrupted by Jasper taking a firm hold of my chin and tilting it up firmly.

"Bella, don;t you dare say this is your fault. This is _not_ your fault. Do not _ever_ think that way.

"But I cou-" I cried.

"Bella." He said sternly. "Stop it. This is not even in the slightest your fault." He scolded. I couldn't take it any more. I collapsed into Jasper's chest and held as tight as I could as he held me back. His smooth and cool hands rubbed my trembling back while my body shook with sobs and tears fell from my eyes onto his fitting dark gray t-shirt.

"It's okay Bells." He whispered into my ear and shooshed me. We stayed like that for who knows how long. I hadn't cried this much since my mom and Phil died in a car crash two years ago. I didn't even know my body was capable of producing so many tears. Yet I was hurt and abused and crying seemed to take just a tiny bit of hurt away.

We both turned our heads to the door when we heard a soft knock on the door. In walked a woman with short brown hair to her shoulders wearing all black. She turned a little and you could see the badge hanging on her chain around her neck. She was a police officer. I cringed into Jasper as she smiled softly but sadly at me.

"Hello, you must be Isabella Swan. I'm detective Cheryl Brown, I'm here to help you." She said softly. I looked up at Jasper with hesitant eyes and he smiled while nodding softly. I looked back at her. She seemed to just notice Jasper in the room. "Hi, and you are?" She asked politely. Jasper nodded at her.

"Jasper Whitlock, I'm Bella's close friend." He said. Hun, looks like he's taking his old name back. I liked it. She nodded and came to stand a little closer to the bed. She looked down at me and smiled a sad smile.

"Bella, I'm here because I want to help you. I want to give you a little more peace, Bella. I want to catch who did this to you, and I need your help. Bella." She said. I had calmed down from my hysterics and went into an almost catatonic state, my expression as blank as my heart. I don't know what triggered it, but it was like my emotion had suddenly disappeared, and I do mean _all_ of my emotions. In that moment I couldn't tell you what I was feeling to save my life. I starred at her, looking straight into her eyes. I could tell she taken a back by my lack of emotion so quickly. "Bella, to help you, I'm going to need you to give me a testimony. We can do it right here. Do you think you could try to tell me what happened?" She asked softly in her deep voice, well, deep for a women. I looked away from her as she took a note pad and pen out. I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder and starred at nothing.

"I was walking home from work, I had just finished finals that week, I was less stressed, happy if you will." I began in a flat emotionless voice. "I never walked home late by myself, but I didn't want to bother anyone so I walked home. I was passing through the campus park to get to my dorm when he grabbed me. I thrashed and I kicked and tried unavailing to scream and free myself. I have no idea where he took me but I remember being thrown on the cold hard dirt floor of the woods. I kicked him and he punched me in the stomach. I lost all my breath and he told me if I ever tried to hurt him again he would kill me." I continued while one single tear fell down my cheek as my voice staid emotionless and my eyes staid glued to nothing. "He... He tore my clothes off and called me all kinds of names like whore, hoe, slut, bitch, the list goes on and every time I would try to scream or get away, he'd slap me. He...He umm..." For the first time, my voice got caught in my throat as more tears came, and I cleared my throat to get back my toneless voice. This voice was the only thing keeping me sane. "He raped me then. Oh and how he loved to grope." I said for the first time letting an emotion sink into the voice. Sarcasm and disgust. I snorted my running nose and wiped the tears while continuing. "You see, most women have the pleasure of there rape only lasting long enough for there attacker to get off, but nooo. I had to catch the attention of a fucking psycho, the fucking energizer bunny." I snorted. "He would stop, change his condom, beat me a few and then go again. He never stopped. It hurt so bad, and it _never_ got numb. The pain _never_ got easier. He _never_ went slower. He _never_ went softer. And dammit I never stopped praying to whatever would listen to die. I never blacked out. Oh how I wish I would have just blacked out. I never did." I said wiping the tears off as everyone that wiped, another one dropped. "I begged him to stop, but every time I did, he hit me and went harder until the last, the very last time. It had to of been hours later, though it felt like days, he told me I deserved it. And I believed him." I didn't even bother with the tears any more. "I believed him so much, I didn't think I was worthy of _dying_.The last time was almost as worst as the first. He hit me so hard, I got what I had been waiting for. Darkness. Death. Yet it wasn't as I woke laid in the middle of a forest. My clothes were almost completely gone and it was raining. I was freezing and I was petrified and I did nothing. I laid there hollowing in my pain and fear until I heard Jasper. At first I thought it was _him_, but when I saw Jasper, I didn't see him. I saw _male_. I was terrified because I knew, I was _sure_ he was there to do the same thing. I tried to get away, to run, but my body was useless. It did no good and the male got me. I'm sure if you asked Jasper, he would agree I screamed as loud as I could in my raw, voice. My throat hurt like hell but I screamed for all I was worth. Yet he didn't hit me, every time I yelled. He rocked me and thank God for him, because if it wasn't for him, I would have laid there and let myself die. Because I was nothing in that moment." I couldn't see at all now, the tears taking over. "I was nothing, and I was split in two. On one hand I was unworthy of living and on the other unworthy of dying. I wasn't worth anything and yet you can't hide from nothing. Thank God for Jasper." I half yelled half cried frantically as the tears turned to sobs. I clung to him as he clung to me, dry sobbing, squeezing me to him like I would disappear if he held me any less close. I had seen the detective wipe a tear away as she left us alone, clinging to each other like life wouldn't go on with out us in each others arms. Thank God for Jasper.

**A/N: I know it was a bit rushed but review! Continue? -Asha**


	2. splinters of heart

**A/N: Hope you enjoy. Please review**

Disclaimer: I no own

She lay, with her head rested on my chest, her  
breathing so slow and relaxed. It amazed me to see her  
so calm for I hadn't seen her like this in days. It had  
been four weeks since they released Bella from the  
hospital and I moved us into a small apartment here  
in seattle. It scared me how she didn't ask any  
questions, she just did what I said and went with  
whatever she thought would make me happy. It was  
unnerving and I worry about her every second of my  
days. I looked down at the girl that still had a hold  
on me that I have never been able to understand  
since the first day I laid eyes on her. Her lips parted  
slightly and she sighed a tiny breath. I sighed too,  
not that it was necessary, it just felt right. I closed my eyes and  
thought back to those few weeks ago, when my life  
had changed so drastically.

Flashback

I sighed and sat down, putting my head into my  
hands frustrated.  
"Al, I can't do this anymore and you know it." I  
sighed, feeling empty. Though it was nothing I  
wasn't used to. I had felt this emptiness,  
hopelessness, depression, whatever the hell it was, i  
felt it since that day. Since I got my personal hell  
handed to me. Since September 18th last year. She  
looked dead at me with the most cold and  
emotionless expression I had ever seen her wear.  
"Do what?" She asked coldly. Alice and I had  
been growing apart for quite sometime. I mean we  
hadn't even _touched_ in the last six months. It's hard  
to admit but the last time we kissed was over a year  
ago. When we went hunting at night, the family just  
assumed what we were doing rather than asking. I  
sighed and stood up, looking angrily into her cold  
eyes, running a hand roughly through my messy  
hair.  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I  
demanded. She turned her head and looked at her  
nails Completely nonchalantly.  
"No I don't. That's why I asked." She snapped  
dryly. I growled and her head snapped up, I know  
she was surprised, I never growled at Alice, _never_.  
"You know Damn well what the hell I'm talking about Alice!  
I'm talking about you knowing you weren't my true  
mate all those years ago and still being selfish!  
About how we don't talk to each other, let alone  
touch! Maybe about the fact that your in fucking  
love with Edward!?" I screamed, she looked taken  
aback and when I said my last sentence, she  
flinched back with shock. "What the fuck were you  
expecting ?me not to know? I'm an empath! How  
clueless can you be?" I snapped and she squinted  
her eyes and stood.  
"And all of this is _my_ fault? Everything is _my_  
fault!? How about how your in love with that little  
bitch Bella Swan? Does that have anything to do  
with it? Hun!? I pretended to be her friend just so  
she would stay with him. I pretended just so we  
could hurt you filthy fuckers! I hated seeing them  
together! I sacrificed! Because at nights it's _me_ that  
he comes home to!" She screamed and then she  
looked afraid of what her words would make me do.  
"You little bitch you think this is a game!? You  
slept with him!?" I fumed. She looked afraid now  
and the next thing I knew the door was being flown  
open an Edward fucking Cullen was standing in front of her,  
crouched and growling. I lost it. I lunged for his  
throat but he saw it in my head and caught me  
before I could bite him. He threw me into a wall just as i heard everyone coming back from their hunting trip. I snarled and forced pain on  
him, he crumpled to the ground and I launched at  
him. I wasted no time pounding my fist into his face.  
HIs granite like skin cracked and protested the blunt  
object that struck it, when I felt myself being pulled  
off his sorry ass. I pushed the body back and as the  
sorry motherfucker reached out his arm to hit me, I  
grabbed it and chucked it out our glass wall, His  
scream was mingled with one of Alice's. The body  
grabbed me from behind again and I felt another set  
of arms added, I launched my leg and it hit him right  
in the stomach and he flew into the wall across the  
room, breaking the wall down. Alice looked at me  
and I growled at her, menacingly. I was dragged out  
of the house and into the nearby woods.  
"Jazz man, you gotta calm down man, I know  
what he did with Alice was-" I yanked myself from  
Emmett's arms and turn to see it was him and  
Carlisle who had dragged me away. I looked dead at  
Emmett.  
"You have me sadly mistaken if you think I  
did that, for him sleeping with Alice. I wouldn't _Flinch_ at him for Alice. I  
wouldn't waste my time on her, if she begged. What  
I did, was for Bella. They made a whole little game  
only to hurt us, and I would have killed his slimy  
ass, if you hadn't been there, and I wouldn't have  
regretted it for one minute, because I would do  
anything for Bella." I snapped. He looked  
bewildered. "Look, it was nice staying here while I  
did, I consider you both my brothers and tell Esme  
she will forever be in my heart, Rose too, but I can't  
stay her anymore. Have a nice life." I said and I was  
gone. I had been wondering somewhere either in  
Seattle or port angeles somewhere when I smelled  
her. I thought I was dreaming. I had finally lost it,  
but I followed it, in a desperate attempt at grasping  
at nothing. I knew for sure that the hope I let  
blossom within me, that I 'd only have to run a few  
more seconds and I would see her beautiful face, I  
knew it would more than likely kill me when she  
wasn't at the end of her scent trail. I knew I would  
fall to the ground in complete misery because since  
we left, I had never let myself hope to see her again,  
I never let myself think about her, because I knew it  
would kill me. But as I neared the sent, I finally  
noticed that it was wrong somehow. It was off, and  
mixed with another distasteful sent. Human  
defiantly but boy was their blood nasty. I turned that  
corner and my heart broke into a million pieces. It  
shattered and I wished that I hadn't found her in  
that moment so I _would_ have collapsed and died. It  
was better than seeing this. She was laying on the  
wet, muddy ground, in a heap of limbs. Bruises  
covering every inch of her body, dirt and mud was  
all over her, mixing with her tears and blood. Her T-shirt lay torn, dirty and battered on her bruised skin,  
and I could see that her bra had been snapped in  
the front, it laying under her back, in her t-shirt. I  
could see that her underwear were missing and her  
shorts had been pushed ruffly back on, scrapping  
her raw skin. Her left arm had a giant black and blue  
bruise on it and I knew it was broken, while her lip  
was busted, her nose was bleeding and her face  
matched the rest of her body, as tears ran down her  
cheeks leaving tracks in the dirt and blood. In all my years of struggling to control my thirst i had never been less endangering than in this moment, with blood everywhere. This  
could not be my Bella, not my little darlin, no this  
was not her.  
"Bella?" I called out to the girl, to make sure it  
was not her. Yet when her head snapped to me, fear  
so dominant in her eyes I lost my balance. I knew my  
fait was sealed. It was her. My bella.

**A/N: I know it was short but I wanted to get Jaspers point of you up, please review, I'll upload as soon as I can - Asha**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know that its been a while so sorry, I'll try to update faster and though this chapter is a bit short, it's crucial to the plot of the story, so please R&R. **

"Darlin I'm sorry but I haven't hunted in a while, I need to go tonight. Do you think you'll be okay? I'll be here by morning I promise." I said holding her face in between my hands. She looked to my eyes and then down and nodded. I sighed she rarely talked now a days. She barley did anything now a days. That didn't stop me from talking to her though. It didn't stop me from loving her. I held her while she slept, I constantly talked to her and when ever she would break down, I was always there for her. The sad part was, I knew it was all going to crash down on her one day and she would break. I would be here for her though. I would be here to put her back together. I wouldn't let her crumble to nothing because she wasn't, she was so much more. I sighed, kissed her forehead and turned to leave. Her eyes fell closed and even though she was near asleep, she didn't look even close to peaceful. Even in her sleep she couldn't get any peace. I growled. They still hadn't found the son of bitch who did this to her. I looked every chance I got. Every moment I want taking care of Bella, I was looking for his sorry ass. But have no fucking don't that I'm going to find that mother fucker if its the last thing I do. I'm going to make him suffer much worst than my bells. Much worst than the devil himself would be capable of. I almost grinned at the ideas that popped into my head for that sorry son of a bitch. I was going to make him pay for the hurt he bestowed on my mate. I growled a furiously, then sighed as I remembered I needed to talk to Bella about that. I glanced at her sleeping form once more before I was gone And flying through the woods. I didn't go far, in fear of leaving Bella for too long. I early went father than Seattle ever. I want interested in my own selfish needs to have my prey taste good. I only needed the essentials so I had the strength to take care of my mate. I was on the boarding line of Seattle and Port Angeles, and had just finished a Grizzly or two when I felt it. Pain, hope and finality. No. Searing passion, hope and despondent emotions stabbing at me like fire. So strong I stopped mid hunt and fell to the ground, my prey scurrying away weakly in my moment of weakness. The pain was so deep and strong, stronger than my own emotions or any I've ever felt. It could only be one thing, my mate. The only time my emotions were stronger than my own was when my mate was in danger. I gasped out and stumbled, tripping over my feet, the ground, twigs and sticks, everything, trying to get to my feet and run. Trying to get to my mate. I succeeded but stumbled often in my rush to get to her. My vision was becoming blurry and my body felt as if I was crumbling apart. There was a burn in my chest, right where my heart used to beat that felt as if it was burning my insides into charred ash. It almost paralyzed me to the moist soil under my feet. It was a ripping pain and I couldn't hold it any longer, I screamed out in pain. A scream if the tortured pouring through my dry lips coming out as a strangled roar. I gasped out strangled breaths as I tried to move my feet again. I ran and ran I knew she was in trouble and I had to get to her. She needed me. I needed her. It seemed like forever and a day by time I was bursting the door of our apartment open, not bothering with the knob. I immediately started to panic as I smelled her blood floating about in the air. I coughed and ran straight to the bathroom, knocking the door off the hinges. What I saw nearly brought me to my knees. Isabella Swan. My mate. My reason for breathing, for life. My everything lay sat in our bath tub, wearing gray elastic sorts and a gray t-shirt that she had went to bed in. Her head tilted back, tears rolling from her eyes as both her wrist bled, the blood pouring over get cuts trailing down her fingers. Blood staining her clothes and streaking the right side of her face. Three knife she used, bloody and mocking stood tall in her weak hand. She looked over to me with tortured eyes, it was the most emotion I'd seen in her eyes since that day. I knew that this was her breaking. I knew it would happen, I knew she would have to get worst before she got better but never in a million years did I think this would be her worst. Regardless, I was suppose to be here for her. Once she laid eyes in me, her body began to tremor with sobs, her chest rocking with them as they caught in her throat. I was in front of her in less than a second. In the bath tub with her, leaned over her dry sobbing as she laid limply in front of me. I gently grabbed the knife from her hand and chucked it to the other side of the bathroom.  
"Oh Bella, why..." I whispered to her as I picked her wrist up and slowly ran my tongue over her cut. I could hear her his in pain but it needed to done. I couldn't taste her, I could smell her but I couldn't taste her blood, in which I was grateful for but I knew even if I could taste her, I would be controlled. I couldn't suck the life out of my mate if I tried, not even a tiny taste, never. Everything in me screamed at me to protect her, to save her. I could never hurt her, not intentionally.  
She sobbed harder, her body jerking as she heaved. She was so pale and the bags under her eyes tied into the reason she looked like she was the walking dead. There was no life in her eyes. I hadn't seen life in those beautiful brown orbs since her eighteenth birthday, and even then I could tell she was not fully happy. If I didn't know that I would do everything in power to fix my broken mate, I would say this girl was ruined. She's shattered not broken, un fixable. But that would be a lie because there is nothing. Nothing, I wouldn't do to fix her, help her. She's not shattered glass, no. My poor mate is a crippled bird. I'll nurture her and take care of her until she can do so alone and then I'll step back and watch her fly. I'm not saying that day will come extremely soon but I'd bet my life I will succeed or die trying. I'm going to fix my wounded mate and if its the last thing I do on this planet, I'll be happy.  
I grabbed her second wrist, do small a dainty into my hands and brought it to my lips to lick also, but I knew. No amount of transfusions would fix her, she would die within two days. She had lost too much blood to survive longer than a few hours in this bath tub.  
"Why Bella?" I practically cried as she sobbed weakly.  
"I- I don't want to l-live anymore." She whispers lowly in her dying voice, cracking away. My dead heart broke. "I have nothing to live for anymore." She whispered through tears as her words brought me to sobs again.  
"I fell in love with a vampire teenager, who I thought would be my forever and he left me in the middle of the woods lying on the forest ground to die. I wanted him to go, I did, I had problems that none of you deserved. But the things he said to me, I will never forget. My second family full of love left without so much as a Fuck you. I was left to feel like my world was ending until a teenage werewolf came into my life to stitch my heart together with friendship only to cut it down the seem when I couldn't return the love he thought he felt for me. The eyes that once brought me the slightest of peace soon turned cold and shielded, Hostel. The only thing I had left was my parents." She coughed, closing her eyes. "Then Phil and mom died in a crash. Drunk driver. I held on, I went to school, I was going to make someone of myself: for Charlie. He was the only thing I seemed to live for. Then the fucking devil in disguise pulls a gun on the sheriff, catching an artery. And just like that I'm alone. Just like that all hope is as good as dust. My life couldn't possibly get any worst than that in that moment. Ah, but two moments later I'm on the forest floor with some slum raping and beating the living shit out of me while he explains why everything in my life has ever been fucked up in three words. 'You Deserve It.' That's why. I'm a piece of shit that will never deserve anything. It's funny if you think about it. The man that stripped me to nothing, was the man that gave me the answer to the one question it seems I've been asking from the beginning if time. 'Why me?'. Because I deserve it. I've been in love with you since I don't know how long. You were suppose to my best friend's husband, my boy friends brother and here I am dreaming of you at night. I never stopped loving you and I never will and I would never ask you to even glance at someone like me but I can't help how I feel and... I'm- I'm just not worth anything. I'm selfish and I don't deserve the freedom of dying but dammit I don't care anymore. I want it. I want for it all to go away and to forget. I want it so bally I'll do anything for it and if I end up in Hell for this so be it, because no pain could trump the pain I live with now here on earth, so Jasper please. Please let me die." She begged crying softly as her breaths got shallower. I shook my head and rested my forehead on hers.  
"You're lying to yourself. You didn't deserve to go through any of this. You deserve so much more, you have to believe this Bella. You have to know that ask the hell you've been through, you'll turn it to power and you'll grow stronger from it because that's the kind of person you are. You are too song to forever break. You'll come through this, I know you will. You're a beautiful, shy, loving, amazing person. Bella you are my mate. You are my everything and to say that you are nothing would mean I am also. My life depends on yours Darlin. I was waitin for you to get better to tell you this but dammitt Darlin I'm head over heels for you. I love you Bella." I whispered to her. Her tears never stopped.  
"Now the love of my life is telling me I'm his world when I'm about to die, isn't my life just envious." She sobbed. Any other time I would have laughed. I smiled and slowly pushed my lips to hers softly. She stiffened for a second then kissed me back.  
"I would never let you die Darlin, not when it's not even close to your time. I'm gonna have to change you though Darlin, okay." I whispered Afraid she would beg me to let her die again and I couldn't do that. She looked down and sighed a ragged breath.  
"I love you enough to suffer an eternity to be with you." She said. I could feel the love And hopelessness pouring from her yet they were getting weaker. She was slipping away.  
"I'll never let you suffer an eternity Darlin. I'll get you happy again if it kills me." I promised her whole heartedly. What she did next made my dead heart beat, I swear it did. For the first time since I found her, she smiled a real smile. Small but that little turn of the corners of her mouth meant the world to me. If I had not already been on them, I would have crumbled to the ground on my knees.  
"Just you saying that has given me the first spec of happiness I've had in years." She whispered, her eyes fluttering.  
"No Bella, I need you to stay awake until I get some venom in you doll." I rushed as I grabbed her up in my arms and was in our room laying her on our bed. Her breaths were suddenly becoming shallower and I knew it was because not enough blood was flowing to her heart. It had to happen now before her heart stopped.  
"Jazz, I'm so sleepy. Jazz..." She whispered.  
"Just stay awake for me Darlin. Keep your heart beating." I hushed her as I laid her on or bed, I brought my lips to her neck, tilting it a bit and kissed the juncture softly. "I love you Darlin." I whispered to her before I leaned all the way in and brought my teeth to her neck, her pulse slowing dying down. I had no time. I bit

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	4. Alive again

**A/N: I want to thank you for the reviews that you all gave me. I always enjoy reading them, please continue to do so. My goal is to get ten reviews or more for this chapter but please make sure you READ THE BOTTOM AUTHORS NOTTTEE!**

Its slowing... Its slowing! Oh thank God, it's simmering! After what felt like _years_, I could feel my hands and feet. I was beginning to feel my calves now. My realization didn't last five seconds. Every thought in my body was soon consumed by the fact that the heat inside my heart only heated. It was like the one organ that was supposed to spread life through my body, send blood flowing through my veins, was now sentencing me to death. Instead of blood being pushed through my veins, venom rushed through. Though it felt much more like fire merciless burning my veins to char. My poor heart was no match for the venom that damned it. As my heart pounded my rib cage, threatening to break free, I briefly thought that maybe a knife to the heart would be less painful. I never screamed though. Not once did I open my mouth and scream. I felt that I had been through too much, holding myself together to give in now. Plus it would be useless, what would I achieve by voicing my pain? Why would I want to publicize that? Screaming was completely pointless. A picture of Jazz flew to my head just as my heart lunched and began to beat so fast I barely noticed numbness replace fire in every part of my body because of the searing fire and sizzling of my heart doubled. Tripled. Fuck I'm not gonna lie, this shit hurt, and that's saying a lot considering I haven't paid much attention to any form of pain I've endured since that day. I barely even registered that there was more than a pinch to my wrist when I slit them. I shut myself off when my dad died. I used sarcasm and anger to counter my feelings, mostly pain. Most people in forks summed it up to; I've turned into a total and complete bitch, but hey, screw them... They don't know what I've been through. Ha! There's my bitch I loved so much! Haven't seen her in weeks! I can't believe I was so out of it. I never lose myself in my emotions. Shit! I've been such a pansy and if anyone knows the new Bella Swan, they knew that was a disgrace. What was I so traumatized about again? Then a picture of a man on top of me in the woods, thrusting his hips while I lay in searing pain underneath him crying my eyes out popped into my head and I mentally cringed. Remembering that almost broke me and I let out a tiny whimper. It was then that I noticed the pain was gone and my heart no longer felt as if it was bathing in lava. In fact my heart was as still and unmoving as the rest of my body. I began to smell the room, smelling things I've never smelt before. Things I have, yet they are so different, _stonger_, _better_. I take in a lung full of air trying desperately to continue smelling this beautiful unknown sent when I suddenly became distracted. I breathed in the air, my chest rising and falling and my brain took comfort in the familiarity of the action yet I was missing something. I experimentally took another breath and the same odd feeling occurred. I pondered this... Then it hit me like a light bulb going off in my head. There was no reaction! No relief. I didn't _need_ to breath. My body didn't _need _the oxygen. I breathed in again and I couldn't stop the smile that lit my lips at the still unknown sent. "Bella." A voice breathed. Of course I would always know that voice. It was Jasper. Almost instantaneous, I was off of whatever I had been laying on and was on my feet. My eyes flying open in the process and as I stood straight, there he was. Standing in front of me with an expression of complete awe and love and my eyes suddenly were starring into the most beautiful golden topaz eyes. I felt myself take in a tiny gasp as I felt myself bend, connect, tie, I couldn't explain it. It was like there was something, something that couldn't be real, something that couldn't be solid. It held me up. It held me to something. It held me to Jasper. It was like my love for him as a human that I had vowed couldn't get any stronger, was nothing compared to the feelings I felt now. Happiness rushed into me and I couldn't remember one reason to be sad. A grin soon worked its way onto my face and I instinctively reached my hand up to his beautiful face. I was only momentarily distracted by the even paler skin tone to my hand before I focused everything on Jasper. My hand came slowly to his face as I curled my fingers over his cheek. His eyes closed and he leaned his head into my palm sighing. We were the same temperature. No more cold touches. He was the same as me and I him. We were finally equal. "Jasper." I breathed. I was shocked to say the least at how my voice came out. It was like singing bells. I couldn't believe it. I had little time to ponder this as I was being pulled into a warm embrace. I immediately fell into Jasper's chest and relaxed against him. It was then I realized the smell from earlier was Jasper. Venom pooled in my eyes as I squeezed him to me, tears that would never be shed coating my eyes. I ducked my head further into his shirt clad chest and whispered softly to him knowing he would hear me. "I don't ever remember being this happy Jazz. I don't remember much. Just that my human life was pretty bad. I know some things though." I scrunched my eyebrows together. He sighed and pulled away from me to sit me on the bed, our hands still locked tightly together. He kneeled down in front of me. He looked up into my eyes and I found myself becoming lost in them all over again. I could see the agony in them, yet I couldn't help but marvel at their beauty. It was like I had never really seen him as a human and I wanted to make up for all the lost time. I had noticed how godly he looked when I first took him in. His face shining like the angel he looked. I noticed all the bites lining his neck, moving down his chest, under his shirt, on his hand. They screamed dangerous yet they appeared absolutely beautiful to me. It was like I was seeing him for the first time. He closed his eyes while laying his head onto my lap so his ear was at the crease of my legs. I moved my hands up to his hair automatically, and was yet again distracted by my fast movement. It was like there wasn't any movement at all. Like I thought of something and poof, I did it. I focused back on the way his curly blonde locks felt on my fingers. I couldn't describe the feeling, and if I tried, I'd fail. I suddenly cursed myself for being so...so...human before. Everything seemed better. It was like I was living in a bubble before. Like I never truly knew how the world really was. He sighed heavenly after a moment of me running my hands through his hair and over his scalp. "What do you remember Darlin?" He whispered, though I heard him as clear as if he had yelled it. I sighed and thought back to the fuzzy memories from my human days, it already felt like years ago. It was so unclear and the sensation of a head ache popped up as I concentrated on the fuzzy, unfocused pictures of the past. I knew he wasn't asking about the good things so I began. "It's all blurry but I remember I was never happy. I was always depressed. Maybe that's why I remember my childhood more. I remember Charlie. My dad. He was killed on his job. I'm not sure what he was, maybe something in law in enforcement. My mother lived away...Ummm, she died. Renee. I remember the Cullens, You used to call me Darlin. I dated Edward. We broke up though... I...I had a werewolf best friend. His name was Jacob, but I don't think we are friends anymore. I went to college. I was twenty years old. I know...I... Oh. I can't say it jazz." I whispered out shaky, venom pooling in my eyes again. His head shot up to look into my eyes and I looked anywhere but his gorgeous eyes. I hated others seeing me weak, though something told me I didn't have to hide from Jasper. In a second I was laying vertically, my head safely rested on his chest as he rubbed my back, holding me to him. I easily shrunk into him closing my eyes. "I know what he did to me Jazz. He...He raped me didn't he." My voice wavered as I looked up into his eyes begging him to tell me I was crazy. Begging with my eyes for him to say no, that it never happened, but he didn't. He reached down holding my face in between his hard hands. He blinked, keeping his eyes closed a bit longer than normal and then pushed so he was hovering over me but still on his side. "Bells..." He whimpered, but he didn't need to finish. I knew then, it was true. I had been raped. My throat closed as a lump took place right in the middle of it and my eyes closed with venom glazing over them. "Saa...so I d-did try to k-kill myself..." I whispered as my hand shot up and I tried to detect a scar of any sort on my wrist but they were long gone from the transformation. Jasper gently moved my head so he had my attention again and ran his thumb over my cheek, the feeling was bliss. "All I can remember is the misery. That's the only concrete t-" I struggled out, but I was disrupted by Jasper. "Isabella." He said sternly, breaking me from my despaired thoughts. "Yes,your life was no walk in the park. Yes, you went through things no one should have to endure. But it's not going to break you, not again. It's not going to break you because every obstacle you've been through you've pushed through them, doing the best you could do. Things were rough for you and sometimes you told me you didn't know if you'd make it, but dammit Bella. You did. You will. I've never met a stronger person in my life. You've been through so much, and I'm not gonna lie, there's things you still don't know about and when you do learn of them, you'll push and you'll grow. THAT, is the kind if person you are. _That_ , is what makes you different, what makes you, _you_. I love you and you are the person you are because of your strength. I admire you for it." He whispered the last sentence and I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. "You make me want to live Jasper. You give me reason to be strong. In my darkest days, you were my light. I love you Jasper. If I can remember nothing else, it's that I've been in love with you long before my brain realized it. You're my everything." I mumbled into him. He pulled back slightly and instantly his lips were placed on mine. I immediately kissed him back, moving my lips in synch with his and never wanting to let go of him. I put everything I had into this kiss and I could tell Jazz was too. I pulled back slightly and whispered against his lips. "When I first realized the feeling I had for you was love, I remember I felted so ashamed and unworthy. I never in a million years thought that you would one day tell me you loved me just as much. I still am having a hard time deciding if this is real or not." I breathed over his lips. He smiled sadly at me, pressing his lips to mine once more. "I could say the exact same." He whispered barely audible. "Jazz... There was... When I first saw you. It was like...like my love for you was yarn and it was like I could _feel_ it getting stronger and stronger until it was practically iron. I-I don't know how to expl-" "It was the mating pull." He whispered. I gasped, looking up at him in surprise. "I felt it too. Even while you were human, I felt it, I just didn't understand it. I didn't know what it was until recently. I felt it again, just now when you were turned. It was so much stronger and it was like every worry I've ever had fell off the edge if the earth. It all came second to you. " He told me as I starred at him in wonder. That was exactly how I felt and to imagine that he felt that for me, was amazing. I loved him so much, so much more than I thought. "I can feel that you know." He smirked. I scrunched my eyebrows together, unsure of what he was talking about until it hit me. He could feel my emotions. More importantly, he could feel my love. I ducked my head embarrassed, if I had been human I'd of blushed crimson. He chuckled and brought his hand under my chin. He tilted my head up until he could properly see my eyes. "I love you too." He mumbled. If I hadn't of been a vampire there is no way I would have understood. Before I could say anything his lips were pressed to mine. Not even thinking I reached my arms up to wrap around his neck and pulled him closer. I let my mouth roam and move in synch with my mates and I couldn't remember a worry in the world. The kiss was sweet and loving and it meant so much. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine, it was indescribable. He pulled back slightly, his breath fanning over my slightly parted lips making me groan. I knew he could feel the lust pouring off me for him and I didn't care in the slightest. He chuckled and placed one more small peck on my lips before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me up so that he was sat on the side of the bed, with me sat soundly in his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he buried his head into the crock of my neck, breathing in deeply. I briefly wondered if I smelt as alluring to him as he smelt to me. "This is the most you've spoken in months." He whispered. My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked surprised. He lifted his head and nodded slowly. "You went through a rough time." He told me softly. Then the horrid images of my back pressed into the damp and hard forest floor, scrapping against rocks and twigs, cutting the flesh of my back as he rammed into me as I screamed and thrashed only for him to punch and slap me time and time again. I let out a shaky gasp and was on my feet before I knew it, pacing the hard wood floors, trying desperately to calm myself. I'm sure to a human I would look like nothing but a blur as I crossed the floor. Jasper let me calm myself and watched painfully from the bed. Once I was breathing normally again I sighed looking at the wall, seeing nothing. I starred blankly at it, breathing in and out. I let out a strangled sigh before resting my head in my hands. "Of all the things I must of forgotten, and I remember that." I mumbled. "Bell..." Jasper whispered pained. I shook my head and straightened my shoulders standing tall. I was not going to turn back into the pansy I was. "I'm okay." I told him sternly, looking down. It seemed that I noticed my surroundings only then. I was wearing black jeggins, black boots and a gray plaid button up shirt, my hair falling loose over my shoulders. I stood on uneven hardwood floors that looked far older than my days and the room we were in was a small one, one that only fit the full size bed, which had an anticish red spread on it and the small wooden night stand, with only one drawer, next to it. There was a window with no curtains, parallel to the old oak door in which I was currently standing by. I walked over to the window, placing my hands on the ledge and looked out. It seemed we were completely covered in trees. Surrounded by their brown and green coverage. I was studying the landscape when I heard the wooden floor give and creek. I whipped around offensively only too see Jasper slowly making his way to me. I sighed and he grabbed my hands. "You must be thirsty." He said warily, like I would flip at his words. Though when his words did soak in, my hand instantly flew to my throat trying to ease the sudden sting and dryness there. It did no good and I nodded at him. He seemed confused at something and then shook his head to rid it , it seemed. He had never let go of my left hand and he began pull me with him at human pace. He opened the door to reveal a cabin like hall. "Where are we?" I asked. "I wasn't sure if you would scream during the change, so I brought you to a cabin Emmett and I stumbled upon while hunting. I packed us some close and everything we'd need, leaving our apartment." He said. I nodded continuing down the hall until a flash of black caught my eye and I whipped around to face the danger that lurked. As soon as I turned my eyes were starring at a pair of deep red eyes. Deep, with a kind of smouldering feel. Her eyes wide and fleeting. Her eyebrows arched to perfection as they crumbled together in confusion. Long dark brown, nearly black, strands fine and straight as paper yet with a bounce of volume. Eyes lined so distinctively, it could only be described as a natural eye liner. Her thin pink lips, small but full. Her thin body slightly crouched, protectively like she too was accessing the situation. It was then that I noticed she wore the same exact clothing as me. I gasped and straightened from my crouch taking a step back, as the beautiful woman too retreated. She was me. No way. That woman was beautiful and I was nothing special. Her body had curves in all the right places, I was thin and straight. I-I "Your beautiful." Came a voice. I turned to see Jasper smiling at me. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. "You always were." He sighed. I gave way to my shock and smiled softly at him. I walked over to his out stretched hand and looked up into his eyes. He always could take my mind off my distresses. "Lets hunt." He said lightly. I smiled and nodded, taking the first step to my new life. **A/N: So what'd you'd think? Please review! Now the important stuff! Review what you think her diet should be. Animal or Human? No both! VOTTTTEE! Please review what you thought too please. Thanks my lovelys, untillll next time!**


	5. My Angel

**A/N: Okay, the vote was pretty even and you'll see who won when you read, but I want everyone to realize that in my story, bella is a completely different person. She's not the Cullen's Bella, she's not Jacob's Bella, she's MY Bella, and my story well focus around ****_that_**** Bella.**

"Darlin, I'm not gonna persuade you into living a life style you don't want to. We can hunt however you want to." Jasper assured me as we stood in the middle of the woods, while I battled my instincts and the burning fire scorching in my throat. I sighed.  
"I refuse to be a monster. I won't kill innocent humans. I will feed from animals Jazz. I won't turn into a monster like HIM." I whispered the last part. He smiled and nodded.  
"Okay. Lets go a little farther in." He told me taking my hand. I nodded and we began to run through the forest.  
The feeling of the wind whipping past me as I seemingly floated over the forest ground, while watching every small movement of the green and brown beauties of the vibrant forest, in what seemed like HD, watching the wild life in impeccable clarity,I let the grin spread over my face, it was amazing, outstanding even. I heard Jasper chuckle from my side as we leaped over a fallen tree and glanced over at my beautiful mate, never losing focus of my feeting.  
"It's amazing, isn't it?" He said softly yet happily.  
"Exhilarating!" I breathed excitedly.  
We laughed together and continued running. I laughed and tore my hand from his using my new found strength to push forward, leaving my beautiful mate in the dust. I cracked up as I heard him growl. I stepped my foot forward and lunged my body up, soaring through the air and my hands went flying up as I was suddenly spinning on a tree branch, birds and small creatures, quickly scurrying away as the branch shook. I pulled myself up and was then sitting soundly on the branch. I giggled.  
"Wow. I'm not a total klutz anymore!" I squealed. I heard Jasper scurrying through the woods, I had left him behind a ways back. I'm all super fast and junk cuz I'm a newborn. I wasn't complaining. Then it hit.  
I smelt it and heard it at the same time. A loud thumping noise, accompanied by the most alluring and mouth watering scent I'd ever smelt. My nostrils flared as I involuntarily breathed in a long thorough sniff. My throat began to ache and burn to a whole new extent as I breathed the amazing scent in. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced! Oh I could just moan! I could practically FEEL the delicious blood pumping through it's veins. My throat suddenly felt like a burning desert that could only be quenched by that amazing and Lucius liquid, commonly known as blood. I dropped from the tree, my instincts nearly taking over as I crouched down, lifting on the balls of my feet, preparing to take off towards my prey. A light growl rumbled in my throat at the idea of the blood soothing the burn. My tongue darted out over my lips, tasting the air. There was two of them. They were laughing about something.  
"Bel-" I spun around, snarling, protecting my prey, when I saw them. The wide, fearful golden eyes of my mate. The sudden distraction caused me to think clearer, free my mind to myself so I could think straighter. I straightened out of my crouch and held my breath, clamping my hand over my mouth and nose.  
"I have to get away. Humans." I hissed through my hands. Jasper blanched, not saying anything, so I ignored him and turned to flee, but then something stopped me.  
"Naw she was easy! Hardly put up a fight!" A man said. I stopped and straightened. Beyond my thirst as I listened.  
"Yeah, but she sure was fun! The Virgins are always the best.." The other man sighed happily, like he was admiring a good meal after he was full. I growled out a vicious snarl and my fist balled, the skin on top of my knuckles spreading tightly. I turned to Jasper who still looked astonished, I was too enraged to worry about that.  
"Don't stop me Jazz." I hissed through gritted teeth. I followed their heart beats and was right behind them before I knew it. I stood behind a thick oak tree as I watched them settle down for a break. My thirst was almost unbearable, but my anger was stronger.  
"Yeah, they are. But damn she got me good in the gut. Feisty little bitch, she was, I showed her who was boss though!" He crowed. The second man cracked up at the man's expense and I growled lowly in my chest. Sick bastards! I then slowly and tentatively walked out from behind my hiding spot.  
"Hello boys." I said as my throat burned. Their heads snapped to me and smirks grew on their faces as I kept my eyes hooded so they couldn't see my eyes. I briefly heard Jasper jump into a tree and I knew he'd be there if I needed any help. The first man was thin and scrawny, rough looking with cold gray eyes that held mischief and excitement. I almost gagged in disgust. The second was shorter and slightly chubby. He had dark brown hair that stuck out all over the place, his dark eyes hooded in lust. Again, que gag repulsion skills. The thin guy rubbed his clammy, slender hands together as I continued to step out of the tree cover, mumbling two in one night under his breath. The other man was still smirking like an idiot when he began to talk.  
"What's a pretty little thang like you doing out here in the woods all by your self." He said excitedly.  
"I can take care of myself." I told him. He laughed and the thin man did too.  
"Yeah right baby. After tonight you'll be wishing you never stepped foot in this forest." The thin man said plottingly.  
"That's funny, considering by time I'm done with YOU, you'll be wishing the exact same thing." I snapped as my head shot up to look at the thin man. I glared at him and he stumbled back, the smirk vanishing from his face as he took in my deep ruby eyes.  
"What the Fuck!" He shouted. I was in front of him smirking before he had time to blink. I grabbed his neck and squeezed lightly as I pulled him off the ground.  
"Whhhat aare you?" he choked out while gasping for breath as his hot hands tried to pry mine from his throat.  
"Your worst nightmare." I snarled as my fingers tightened around his slender throat, crushing it in my hand. I had no remorse. He deserved so much more.  
"You can have this one jazz." I told him absently as I heard him jump lightly off his tree branch. I had something planned for the man you said Virgins were the best, he had made the stupid mistake of making it personal to me. I turned to find the stubby guy, just coming out of his horrified and shocked daze and running away. I was in front of him before he had time to take two steps. I pushed my arms out and sent him flying into a tree about fifteen feet back. It shook and I could see the air push right out of him and heard the satisfying church of his bones breaking. When he had enough air he screamed out in pain and I was in front of him in no time. I almost lost it when he coughed out a bit of blood. Okay I _really_ almost lost it. It smelt so sweet and inviting. I shook it off and starred into his fearful and pained eyes.  
"I was virgin too." I whispered deadly calm. His eyes widened and tears began to make there way out of his crusty eyes.  
"Aww man, come on-" He was cut off by his arm being twisted so far back, I'm surprised the damn thing didn't come off. He cried out so loud, I snapped his jaw up to shut him up, probably cracking a few of his teeth. His scream had been hurting my ear. He had the nerve to begin to sob. "I didn't mean to hurt those girls! We were just playing! I swear!" He coughed. I was suddenly filled with rage and I flew to my feet and suddenly I saw red. The man gasped and looked terrified as he looked at my hands. I looked down and almost lost my focus as I took in my entire hand, both of them, were blazing bright orange as flames spurred. I was brought out of my daze as the man shifted trying to find a way to escape. I turned my glare back to him.  
"How young are your victims!?" I yelled, rage getting the best of me. The way he said playing, gave me a bad feeling.  
"I don't know! I didn't mea-" He began to plead. I was so mad that I hardly registered my flames flare. The man flinched back completely terrified.  
"Don't lie to me!" I yelled. "How young was your youngest!?" I screamed. He stuttered and I reached down to grab him by his neck. I lifted him and pushed him up against the tree as he yelped in pain, working his already broken bones.  
"How young dammit!" I roared.  
"Twelve!" He yelled out terrified. I dropped him back to the forest floor and saw the burns on his neck, my hand must have still been hot because the flames were extinguished from that hand.  
I pulled him to me roughly as yet again, he yelled in pain.  
"You sick son of a bitch, I hope you burn in hell." I snarled at him as my thirsty got the best of me and my teeth connected with his neck. As I bit down he screamed in agony. I practically inhaled his delicious blood. His screams quickly began to die down as his warm blood floated down my throat. It was so smooth and delicious it was scary. When he went dry I dropped his weak body. I watched as his body slumped to the ground, lifeless and tattered. Without turning around I began to talk to Jasper.  
"It's sick people like them that took away my life, that stole it. They must have abused so many others. Twelve. As young as twelve years old. I don't regret this Jasper. Not even a little. The world is a better place without them in it." I felt his arms go around my waist and pull me to him so my back rested on his chest as I continued. My head slumped down and I knew he could feel my emotions as he tightened his grip around me. "What if there was a vampire out there that killed HIM. I would have never went through that. Jazz I could be that vampire for so many girls." I whispered. He snuggled his head in the crook of my neck.  
"You could." He whispered.  
"Your okay with that? You wouldn't think I'm a monster if I fed off humans?" I asked un sure. I mean one time was much different than the rest of my existence. He chuckled softly.  
"More like a hero." He told me as he turned me around in his arms. When I looked into his eyes I gasped. They were a smoldering red, almost Burgundy. I felt an insane amount of lust overcome me as I looked into his red irises. They did something to me. They still had their unique Jasper feel, but it was like they just SCREAMED sexy to me. The lust I felt, I had no doubt that he could feel it. And the smirk on his lips only confirmed it. He leant down and gently pressed his lips to mine. I took in as much as he would give me and put everything into it, every emotion I could muster. I was slightly mesmerized by the feeling of our lips flooding together and was disappointed when he pulled back. I might have pouted a bit. He chuckled against my lips and the vibrations sent my lips tingling.  
"I know. Believe me, I _know_." He chuckled again. "But because you're a newborn, I know that your still thirsty. Right?" He asked. My throat had felt like heaven when blood was flowing down it, but the burn was not completely smothered, only burning in a lesser degree. He was right, I was still thirsty. I nodded. He nodded too.  
"Okay, human hunting is much harder than animal hunting, much more complex. When you hunt animals, you let your instincts take over and go after the first thing that you notice, humans are different. Especially when you are only hunting the bad guys. You have to have control over you're instinct. You can't just lash out. You have to wait for opportunity." He told me. I nodded.  
"I don't think this will be all that hard for you. Your not like any other newborn, I've ever met. When you woke, I was prepared for you to go crazy and attack and let your bloodlust take control, yet you hugged me and had a conversation. You even recognized the mating pull. Most newborns will over look a mating pull if it's right after their change. Then when you hunted, I could feel the bloodlust churning in you and yet you kept control, kept a hold on your anger and focused. It was amazing. You were even about to run away before you heard them. You're absolutely amazing." He whispered as he lightly kissed my nose. I smiled at him. Then a thought, one of many in my jungle gym of a newborn vampire's brain popped up. My eyebrows furrowed.  
"So what do we do with the bodies?" I asked looking at the men in disgust.  
"Well its been a while since I've hunted humans but I suppose the same principe applies. You have to get rid of them." He said. I looked at him and nodded my head.  
"You astonished me with your self control just now. It was like you channeled your anger to let you think, instead of going crazy. It was amazing, how did you do it?" He asked. I shrugged.  
"I don't know. It really wasn't that hard for me. It was always there, the thirst, but it was like I could push it to the back of my mind. Talking to them wasn't that hard, I just focused on their beings, not their blood, though it was always in the back of my mind. And then the fire on my han-" I began but was cut off my an awed Jasper.  
"Oh, I almost forgot about that! I almost fainted when I saw that!" He exclaimed as he lifted my hands to examine them. They were fine. "Your hands should be ash right now." He said in astonishment. "It  
could be your power, or part of it." He said in awe. I smiled. "I wonder if your whole body is fire proof..." He whispered in amazement.  
"We'll have to reproach the subject again later. Now, I know your still thirsty, so I should get rid of these bodies." He told me. I sighed and looked over at the lifeless men that had stole so many girls' life away. I was almost one of them. I sighed again and took my hands from Jasper while nodding and sliding down a tree. Jasper left and five minuets later he was in front of me, his hands on my knees as I stared at nothing.  
"What's wrong kitten?" He asked, softly stroking my cheek with his hand.  
"All those girls. I can just imagine how many, how young. Their lives were stolen from them in such a heinous way...mine was." I sighed the last part quietly, tipping my head down, ashamed. Instantly I was in his lap as he sat on the hard forest floor beneath me. His hand made it's way to the side of my face and he tilted my head his way so he could see my sad eyes, even though I knew he felt my emotions; I could fell the calm he was pushing at me.  
"People like them, they are cold, heartless people, no, monsters. They still what isn't theirs and they take pleasure in taking it. They will always be responsible for what they did and you will always remember what you lost. It is a horrible experience to come within fifteen feet of, but they can't destroy you unless you let them. You almost fell prey to that but I was there to help you and you've already started to live again. You let love and happiness sink through your barrier of darkness and baby, you're not going to let that sink you. You are doing something about what happened to you now, not letting him win, not slowly letting it kill you. You're fitting back, he may have stole your life but dammit, you took it back, and with a vengeance." He told me strongly. Venom had began to pool in my eyes as he talked and I threw myself at him my arms wrapping tightly around his neck.  
"I love you so much. I don't know how in the world I got lucky enough for you to be mine." I told him squeezing him to me and him, I.  
"I could say the same thing." He told me. I pulled back and slowly pushed my lips onto his. I sighed when our lips touched. I pulled back and looked into his eyes to see him smiling. My tongue subconsciously moved over my lips and besides Jasper's beautiful cream taste, I could taste his meal. I was instantly thirsty and I could almost FEEL my eyes turning pitch black. Jasper rose, bringing me with him. We began running instantly. We ran through the forest and after a Few minutes, I could hear shallow thurmering sounds, wheels speeding on pavement, other unplaced noises and all kinds of different things. Just then Jasper stopped, slowly turning to me.  
"I would rather you not have to do this, but with you only wanting the slums, we'll probably encounter some humans. Our eyes are black so they won't suspect anything and I know your control seems amazing, but if it is ever, at all too much, all you have to do is squeeze my hand, okay?" He told me seriously. I could tell he was worried. I nodded my head and placed my hands on either side of his face and looked deep into his now black eyes.  
"Don't worry, I'll be okay." I told him. He closed his eyes, leaned into my hands a bit more and sighed.  
"I know." He told me, kissing my forehead. His hand tightened on my hand before walking forward, human paced. We broke through the tree cover and slipped into a back ally, in the shadows. Jasper looked at me and I nodded. He sighed and threw his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into the side of his body.

?POV

"Yes mom, I'm only about five minutes away. I'll be there soon." I complained into my phone. She sighed on the other end. I could have sworn I heard a laugh behind me, and whipped around to see what it was, but when I turned, there was nothing there but the darkness of night and shadows everywhere. I was the only one out at this time of night, but I was just around the corner from my friend Cassy's house. My mom really didn't need to come pick me up. I sighed, brushing it off as paranoia.  
"Shiloh!", My mom's voice bellowed from my phone. I flinched, and withdrew it from the side of my face.  
"Jeez mom, chill." I winced.  
"Shy, that's the fourth time I've called you!" She exclaimed.  
"Sorry, I kinda checked out for a minute. Alright mom, I'll be there soon." I told her turning down the narrow path leading to my street.  
"I don't like this Shy. You should have called me to come pick you up." She scolded. I rolled my eyes.  
"It's like a ten minuet walk mom. What ever, I'll see you when I get there, bye." I chuckled. She sighed.  
"Bye Shy, see you when you get here." She said and hung up. I put my phone in my purse, and began to walk again. I'm sixteen, she has to stop worrying.  
"It seems like you were on that phone forever baby." A deep voice slurred from behind me. I whipped around and took a step backward when I saw a tall, thick guy, I didn't know. His eyes snapped to my feet when I took a step back, and he smirked, stepping forward two steps.  
"Oh come on baby, don't be afraid, I just want to have some fun!" He told me. I stepped back again and suddenly he was rushing forward. I screamed and turned to run when I felt a greasy hand pop over my mouth, halting my scream and I was brought back into a warm, thick body. I immediately began to cry when I felt his erection on my lower back. I was a virgin, but I wasn't stupid. He began to drag me backwards when I began thrashing my feet, attempting to scream through his fleshy hand.  
"Oh don't be like that sugar, we're gonna have a real good time." He whispered in my ear, his tongue darting out to lick my skin there. My body was suddenly contoured in stomach griping fear. Oh God, what was this man going to do to me. I was thrown up against a brick wall and as soon as I went to scream for help, his hand collided with my face. His slap was blunt and hard, and I went crashing onto the dirty ground.  
"Don't be like that baby. This is going to so fun." He told me grinning, while he reached down for my blouse and yanked, sending the buttons, scattering around the darkened alley.  
"No. Please, don't!" I begged. He smirked down at me, starring at my bra clad breast, I felt so violated. He kneeled beside me and his hand pooped under my bra as he began to touch me. I screamed and thrashed and he roughly pushed his hand over my mouth, squeezing my breast harder.  
"Awww sugar, just let go and have some fun." He smiled leaning forward, while undoing my jeans. I was sobbing now, tears pouring down my eyes like faucet water.  
"This doesn't look very fun to me." A voice sounded. I could have cried out in victory when I heard it. The man's head jot up in the direction the beautiful voice came from. Even in this state of mind, I could tell the voice sounded like an angel. I tried to see through my tears at the figure that made it's way around the corner. She stepped into my line of view and I immediately knew she would save my life. She wore black heeled boots with black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket tight against her perfect figure. Her face was hard and angry but I somehow knew she wouldn't hurt me, even when my eyes met her blood red ones. They were the most terrifying sight I'd ever seen but at the same time, the most beautiful. They shown with determination and strength. She was beautiful and I knew she was strong just from looking at her, she looked _and_ sounded like an angel straight out of the sky... And in a way, she was my angel.

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